Author Archives: Carl from Chicago

Cutty Haters Rejoice

Well it finally happened.  The Bears released Jay Cutler.  Jay is the guy that the haters blame for everything, not our revolving carousel of idiotic offensive coordinators, our terrible drafting, and our lousy roster full of injured players and free agent busts.

Now we have Mike Glennon.  Whooo hooo!  A guy who basically hasn’t played in 2 years and wasn’t great when he DID play.  Of course in today’s NFL with a swollen salary cap and a dearth of talent especially at quarterback Glennon is probably an OK choice at $14M / year.  But I’m not exactly expecting him to set the world on fire.  He is a bit of an upgrade over the starting tire fire of walking wounded from last year but not much.  Anyways, knowing the Bears, he’ll probably be hurt in the first few games (hope he makes it out of the pre-season) and we can just project his stats anyways.

And we let Jeffrey go to.  He wasn’t a bust like Kevin White but he showed just enough brilliance that I’d bet he’s going to shine once he’s off the Bears.

Over the last few years we’ve let all our skilled and all-pro (at any time in their careers) people go on offense including Forte, Cutty, Jeffrey, Marshall, and Bennett and replaced them basically with our new RB and a bunch of nothing.  It is strange that we actually have a decent O line, though.

As a Bears fan I want this all to work out.  I want to dream that Glennon on the bench was like having Rogers watch Favre and learn.  I want our new receivers to kick ass.  I want everything to be great.

But I’m not holding my breath.  Too bad it isn’t the late 80’s we would have a decent team with a solid defense, good running game and a ball control offense.  Unfortunately it is 2017 when you need an aerial assault to even have a chance which is utterly lacking for us.

I will say that any player who’s agent COULD have had them available right now is missing out on just a ludicrous free agent market of paying big for middling talent.  This giant salary cap is crazy.

Only A Clown Would Take a Trade for Cutler

I am seeing hilarious reports of the Bears trying to trade Cutler, like this.  It is the worst-kept secret in pro sports that Da Bears want to dump Cutty since they only have a small charge against the salary cap and can walk away from the 2017 and 2018 years on the contract.  If they could get anything for him, like a late round draft pick, that’s better than nothing.

The problem is, any team who would pick up Cutler would also need to pick up his contract and pay him big money.  However, if the Bears cut him, then that team would also have the opportunity to negotiate with Cutty as a free agent and (presumably) pay far less.

So it seems like only an idiot would give up a draft pick to the Bears for the opportunity to take on Cutty and his contract.  But good luck to Pace for trying.

Some Idiot Thinks the Bears will win 10 Games in 2017

This Bears blog picked up that Sports Illustrated had the Bears picked for 10 wins in 2017, noting that the 2016 team was decimated by injuries.  First of all, as a Bears fan, I want them to go 16-0, but here’s what I actually thought of that prediction…

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA YOU MUST BE OUT OF YOUR MIND

The Bears have gaping holes across their roster.  While I don’t have a crystal ball, it seems highly likely that they will drop Cutty soon (mid-March when the NFL “season” starts for 2017), and then they will have NO QB.  We won’t count “St. Pick” Barkley or Hoyer who is a career backup who picks up enough stats in garbage time to look competent.  Sure, they could get a QB by trade or the draft, but it seems like we will have one of the weakest starting QB’s going into the season of any team.  See how that went for the Raiders or Texans, two teams 10x better than the Bears who were booted out of the playoffs promptly when they encountered teams with good QB play.

Sure they have some good defensive guys on their roster (usually hurt), but their secondary is a disaster and if they were actually trying to play competitive football this would be a gaping hole.  If you swapped out the Bears secondary for guys on the practice squad of a typical team I don’t think we would see a dramatic difference, and that’s bad.

On offense – with Jeffrey probably gone (or hurt / suspended if he happens to be with the team) – we have terrible receivers and tight ends.  True, we have a decent O line and running back but with no QB, receivers, or tight ends that’s not a formula for winning football.

Oh and let’s not forget that the Bears aren’t exactly a coaching / drafting powerhouse.  Almost all of our top draft picks have been busts and the last thing we innovated was the T Formation.

If anyone is giving you the over / under on a 10 win season for the Bears, damn you’ve got to take the under on that, being a Bears fan notwithstanding.

Subjugation… And Thoughts on a Las Vegas Franchise

I thought this was a fitting end to a miserable Bears season.  I asked Siri on my iPhone for the Bears’ score in the Minnesota game and this was her answer.

Bears_Subjugation

Recently I read that Oakland is moving to Las Vegas.  Some dopey analysts were saying that the team would struggle because it would be the 5th smallest media market.  My answer to that is – what are they smoking!

The NFL is a “post market” league.  Everyone follows it on fantasy sports and the Red Zone anyways.  The damn live games are practically unwatchable unless you are sh*t-faced because they take forever and you need to sit through 100 pickup truck and boner pill commercials.

A franchise in Las Vegas is GENIUS.  Why?  Because EVERYONE will come there when the away team comes.  Imagine fans from Chicago, Wisconsin, New York, etc… when their teams play in Las Vegas – you can combine debauchery, gambling, booze and football – what’s not to like?  I’ll bet 3/4 of the stadium will be fans of the opposing team, all drunk as skunks.  The only down side will be the presence of Oakland fans… hopefully they will be so enraged that they won’t bother to attend anymore.

Bears vs. Redskins

Bears are playing on Saturday vs the Skins.  Maybe we can finally just put their playoff hopes out of their misery.  Let the comments rip… unless you don’t care anymore.

Thoughts on the Bears’ Season from Afar

I’ve moved away from Chicago and am now following the Bears intermittently.  I did go to one game in person (against the Lions, and we won 17-14) vs. prior years when I went to probably 5-6 home games / year (that’s all I could take in recent seasons since the Bears have been so terrible).

From the West coast I usually can’t get the Bears game and when you watch the Bears on Red Zone they come up like 2 minutes a game since it only shows when you are in scoring positions or if all the other games are on break.

Thus I’ve just seen scraps of the Bears this year and followed them through blogs and stuff and heckling back and forth with Dan.  Really, the ineptitude of this franchise has thrown me for a loop since the disastrous 2nd year of the Trestman regime and I’ve got to wonder why I am attached to one of the laughingstock franchises of the NFL.  But I can’t change now…

Strangely, if the Bears had anywhere the luck of the Lions they’d be .500 or better right now.  The NFL is a trashcan of bad coaching, bad officiating, and incredible injuries afflicting what seems to be most of the stars at one time or another.  The Bears were “in” a lot of games pretty late until they collapsed.

So where do we go from here?  Here’s my 2 cents

  • Cutty is gone.  Hopefully we get a shot to draft a QB and /or mix it up with C grade talent like Hoyer, Barkley or whomever is milling about on a practice squad somewhere.  The team has so many holes we can’t fill em all
  • Jeffrey is gone and we pretty much have no receivers.  We need to cut bait on White too (epic bust) and try to have an offense built around tight ends (of which we don’t have any) and running backs catching the ball because we won’t have a deep threat QB anyways
  • Our O line is decimated by injuries.  I guess we figure some guys come back and we try to pick someone up in free agency or the draft
  • Our secondary is a trashcan fire.  But so are a lot of them in the NFL.  Maybe we can draft someone or get someone in free agency
  • I don’t know if John Fox comes back or not.  We are paying like 10 coaches now I don’t know if it makes sense to fire him again for another lost season

I think most of the NFC looks terrible.  I’ve seen the NFC North and no one is scaring me there.  So maybe we won’t be much worse than the rest of them next year.  Rogers is losing a step and anyone betting on Stafford to carry that team is out of their minds.

I’ll definitely be paying attention at least in the Super Bowl with Dan as we put down some cash in Reno on the big event.

 

A Worse Game Day Experience Than Soldier Field

Recently I went to see a Chargers game in San Diego. First off, let me just say that city is beautiful and the weather is awesome and it would be great if I could live in a climate like that year round. But I can’t so let’s start with the hating.

Not only is their stadium a colossal dump, their beer prices are just crazy. These are worse even then Soldier Field.

chargers_beer_prices

Hey but at least they have cheerleaders. One of our favorite threads here is how much we hate the stoooopid drum line at the Bears and how we need to bring back cheerleaders.

san_diego_cheerleaders

Their “big screen” was hilariously tiny. I think Dan’s TV is bigger than this. And when the field was in shadows you couldn’t even see the screen. This place is a time machine.

chargers_big_screen

The team has alienated their fan base by threatening to move a thousand times and spending zip on the stadium so that it gets so old that they have to have a new one. A couple days after I left San Diego they voted down funds for a new taxpayer-funded stadium so I guess this will just continue until they find a town dumb enough to subsidize some zillionaire owner since San Diego won’t do it. But just my luck – I sit behind literally the last local guy who cares about the Chargers and he is all Bartman-like with headphones on and stands most of the time.

chargers_bartman

One more time – get rid of the drum line and get cheerleaders – nice calendar.

chargers_calendars