Category Archives: Fire Mike Tice

Another Almost NFC North Connection

Recently we posted on how the Vikings and Pack picked up connections with the Bears and Illini (no matter how tenuous like a family name) and here at Fire Everybody we hoped for continuous failure to harm those rivals’ chances.

I had to look it up but the Bucs were in the same division as the Bears from 1977 to 2001 so hell they are close enough for this site.  Of course the Bucs picked up some of our major nemeses (I looked it up it is plural) when Lovie parked his no-enthusiasm and no-expectation rear end in Tampa Bay and brought along Mike Tice.  Then this was a bit surprising –

Lovie Smith was the head coach of the Chicago Bears when they selected Gabe Carimi with their first round pick in 2011. While Carimi struggled during his first two seasons with the Bears, the connection seemed like it could work in Carimi’s favor when Smith was named the Tampa Bay Buccaneers head coach in January.

Instead, Carimi was released by the Buccaneers last week. He didn’t remain on the street long as he quickly signed with the Atlanta Falcons on Monday.

Ha ha what is a “Bears connection” worth, anyways?  Likely zero, especially with anything related to offense and / or coaching (on the defensive side you have a legitimate heritage).  With Trestman and Emery in charge I can see the opportunity to build a real tradition of offense that can spawn a legitimate web of interconnected successes downstream.  But past coaching and offensive connections to the Bears ought to be viewed as a cause for alarm.  At least until you are released…

I think that could spawn a great post here though… the “Imaginary Reunion of Terrible Bears Coaches and Offensive Busts”.  You could have Lovie, Martz, Shoop, Turner (hell, bring his brother too), Gabe, all the broke down and hellish running backs and offensive linemen we’ve picked up over the years with high draft picks, David Terrell (damn he is in his early 30’s and has been out of football like 8 years).  Now this is a post that I will goad Dan to do because he would do it much, much better than I ever could.




Hester On Special Teams Exclusively, Where He Is Supposed To Be

Here at frt, Carl I and our tens of readers have been screaming constantly that Devin Hester should never have been put on the field as a wide receiver.  He sort of sucked at that position, and the hits and overall wear and tear was killing his return game.  That return game was supremely important over the past several years, since typically our offensive coordinator was crazy.

This article today was music to my eyes.

Here is a quote:

“My door is not closed on the offensive side of the ball. I’m still open to it,” Hester said on the radio show. “But as of right now, I know that I’m going here first into this season as the main kickoff return man. As of right now, that’s my main focus — to get my swagger back.”

That’s got to sound good to Bears fans.

Hester — arguably the best kick returner ever — said he’s been working on regaining his explosion through his offseason training.

“That’s where I fell short of the past couple years,” Hester said.

You got that right, Devin – you really did fall short in the returns department.  But I won’t bash Hester too badly – he was being asked to do something he shouldn’t have been asked to do.  Now, with the new regime in place, Trestman IMMEDIATELY realized that this was stupid, and rectified the situation so Hester could focus – lets look at part of the above quote again:

Hester — arguably the best kick returner ever — said he’s been working on regaining his explosion through his offseason training.

Yes.  Hester knows his role now, so he can train for it.  That is what I am talking about with the Trestman way – clear, focused direction.

But hidden in the article is something not too many people will read into but I will.

As for all the changes the Bears have undergone, Hester said the feel around the locker room is “very different,” especially with Brian Urlacher and Lovie Smith gone. But he likes what Trestman is doing.

Hester described Trestman as “more of a hands-on, player-type guy” and said he likes the changes he’s made to the locker room, mixing offensive and defensive players.

“He’s trying to stop the separation of guys hanging out with their position,” Hester said. “Now the team, everybody is just hanging out with each other. … That small little thing is kind of helping out a little bit. I can tell.”

I fully expected this, having read the Trestman book (which I firmly believe all of you should read).  When you read the book, you will understand why a lot of things are being done – the Hester move is no exception.  I knew that Trestman would unite the team as ONE and win or lose, when you hear those end of game interviews, I predict that you won’t hear the word “I” too many times when the athletes talk to reporters.

*Hey, don’t forget to check out the Hester Bear from the most important site on the interweb.

There’s a Lot Here

Don’t want to bore you with web related and blogging stuff (Dan always says it is the “best buggy whip out there”) but in moving FRT from its old (paid) home to its new (free) home most of it was pretty easy due to how advanced the Internet tools have become.  Also the free sites over at are pretty amazing I had this (cluttered looking) site up in no time and just re-pointed the URLS that go here and we were up.

One tedious task is that the pictures get moved but then they still “point” to the old site.  So I need to go into every post with a picture and redirect it to the media on this site so that when the old site is shut forever (soon) they won’t all be dead links.  In so doing I sometimes throw a line or two in the post and update the categories (for the tag cloud on the right) and stuff like that.

But this post really isn’t about the posts or technology or blogging.  It is about the incredibly frustrating journey we all have had as Bear fans looking backwards from today.  Let’s just look at some of the low (or high) lights

– recently they hired a whole new coaching staff (good)

– they fired Lovie (great) and also Mike Tice and everyone else left

– We had a disastrous ending to a 7-1 start, missing the playoffs

– they hired Emery

– We had a disastrous ending to a 7-3 start, missing the playoffs

– they fired MAD Martz and made Tice the OC

This is about how far I have gotten with reconnecting our old posts to new media.  I HAVEN’T EVEN GOTTEN TO DUMB RON yet.  Damn.  A lot happens here and it is all frustrating to go through because I know the outcome and it SUCKS.  This is like living my miserable life as a Bear fan in reverse, all over again.  And the most frustrating years (backwards) are still to come.

As Dan would say, not like anyone is going to read back that far, but as an archivist of our Bears’ misery it is my obligation, a labor of love (or mostly defeat).

Watching Actual NFL Innovation

Yesterday I was going through my drawers and throwing out old paperwork. I found the two parking pass coupons for the Adler lot for playoff games 1 & 2 which I chucked into the trash.

Remember when we were 7-1? Things seemed to be going so well? Then the season fell apart and not only did we throw away our right to host a playoff game, we also threw away our post season hopes entirely.

For a brief moment it seemed like the Bears had a formula that could work in the regular season, and might have a chance in the playoffs – 1) a vicious, takeaway defense 2) good special teams 3) a balanced offense led by Marshall that wouldn’t drag down the other two components.

But of course we just fell apart in all the close games and our patchwork O Line let us down repeatedly. To see where this O Line will leave Cutty in the end just check out McMahon, our last great QB here in Chicago, who is suffering severe and terribly sad problems today rather than enjoying his retirement, or Bernie Kosar who is having very public problems too, as well.

Then when I watch the playoffs, I realize how far the Bears were from being an NFL champion caliber team, even if EVERYTHING went our way. The last time New England came to Chicago, a terribly snowy day a few seasons ago, is probably what would happen right now if we played them – an absolute destruction of our team, along the lines of ND vs. Bama. Brady just ripped us play after play for gigantic yards while their running game, taking advantage of the strong passing attack, ran at will. On the other side of the ball our usual stone confusion (with Mr. Turner at the helm) ensured that we had nothing to counter them with.

New England is light years ahead of us, and not necessarily because their personnel all in are that much better, but because they are coached with a purpose and their plan and players are subordinate to that purpose. I can only think of what New England would do if Marshall was on their roster, or Peppers, or any of our other good players – they would use them to make their system even stronger, to the extent that their on field value is comparable to replacement parts while staying under the salary cap.

And watch the way they play, when the season is on the line, in terms of innovation, surprise and taking the other team off balance. That is what a Super Bowl caliber champion team looks like.

Bears vs Vikings Open Thread

I remember going to one of my first Bears games with Dan post college. It was raining like hell and we had to both buy Bears’ hats because we couldn’t see a thing since we both wore glasses. It was against the Vikings and Dan summed up the situation

Visiting Vikings fans are the worst of all the teams the Bears’ play

So of course we want to beat the Vikings and the Bears’ season is on the line. We should have won last week and now we are about to circle the drain as far as the playoffs if we don’t win today. If we are hanging our hats on beating the Slack that is a thin rope.

Last week there was a bit of useless media controversy when some dopey Dolphins player said

Dolphins saw “disrespect” in Pats running same play over and over

Dan and I think that Mike Tice can LEARN from the Pats in doing that with Brandon Marshall, just throwing to him every single time, until that doesn’t work anymore. The ESPN NFC North blog was saying today that not only is Brandon Marshall on pace to set the Bears single season record (held by Marty Booker at 100 catches)

The real question is whether we can quantify it as the most productive year for a Bears player at any position. That will take some apples-to-oranges analysis to compare him to the likes of Sid Luckman, Gale Sayers and Walter Payton.

Beat the damn Vikings and let’s try to salvage this season for the playoffs so it isn’t a horrid replay of last year once Cutty went down.

For a brief moment with Cutty on fire, Marshall on fire, and Jeffrey out there with our patchwork O Line actually functioning we looked like a Class A offensive machine. Now we are a class C with just Marshall keeping the torch alive (needs Cutty too or we become a bad Luther Campbell show).

More People Searching on "Fire Mike Tice"

When the Bears picked up Mike Tice to be the offensive coordinator I was mildly optimistic. The Bears’ history of offensive coordinators has been dreadful, with the likes of horrid Shea, Shoop, Ron Turner who waxed both the Bears and the Illini, then Mad Martz who at least did something once in his life a long, long time ago before coming to the Bears apparently insane, and then Tice. So you could say that Tice at least had a fighting chance to distinguish himself among these terrible precedents.

But when the Bears hired Mike Tice Dan texted me when I was at a bar and said “Carl go get Fire Mike Tice .com” Thanks to mobile technology I snapped it up, just in case we needed it here at “Fire Everybody”. I was hoping it wouldn’t be a big draw.

Tice did stitch together a banged up and under-talented offensive line to go from “Abysmal” to “Merely Terrible”. In Bears terms those are victories.

But the whole world is full of innovative and successful offensive coordinators in the pros and in college, and the Bears are a premier franchise in the NFL. They could have gotten SOMEONE who has ideas and has implemented them and had some track record. But… they picked Mike Tice, a guy they already knew and who wouldn’t rock the “Lovie Boat” apparently.

We are seeing a big uptake in hits (from not noticed to barely noticed) and since we don’t sell advertising and generally don’t give a crap about internet hits this is just a fact that shows how miserable we all are with the offense.

Chicago Tribune Piles On

Dan and I have pounded on local “journalists” that have their heads up the Bears’ butts for the super valuable privilege of “inside access”. This means that after another inept offensive loss you can go and have coffee with the guy who runs the offense and hear about his family or where he went to college or some other drivel as he says that “next time it will be different” or “I believe in my guys”. Who the hell cares. Up in the cheap seats and on TV we all know failure when we see it.

But the Tribune at least is just lacerating the Bears today for their terrible offense. Article after article is trying to say it like it is – which is awful.

Nobody buys it. After 10 games, the offense really has no identity. Quarterback Jay Cutler said… that losses don’t necessarily force NFL offenses to reinvent who they are. But before anything can be reinvented, it must first be invented.

30th – NFL rank of Mike Tice’s offense in total yards (299 per game) after gaining only 143 in Monday nights’ debacle against the 49ers.

Bags of money were squandered (on the offense) but over the last 2 weeks the Bears have managed 13 points in a pair of benchmark games. That reveals who they really are. And it has been a cruel revelation to behold. The Bears are the franchise that has fielded half a team for decades and last thrilled the nation when running the T formation.

That last quote – about the Bears fielding half a team and struggling on offense forever – is what prompted Dan and I to start this damn site in the first place. Look at the NFL with offensive innovation – and the Bears are nowhere on the list. Their abysmal drafting, coaching, and often free agent choices contribute mightily to this malaise.

This is all the more frustrating because for once the Bears have a decent QB in Cutty, and a great receiver in Marshall. We know Forte can produce. And yet our offensive plan is a joke as we all can see and the PATHETIC offensive line just gets worse and worse.

One of the criticisms that we actually listen to on this site is that it isn’t JUST the offensive coordinator. When we started this site NO ONE ever had anything positive to say about that dolt Ron Turner, but many people said that blaming Turner for everything wasn’t right when the Bears had terrible management, terrible drafts, and the passionless and imagination-less Lovie at the helm. All true. And that’s why the site has “Fire Everybody” on the mast head now.

No F!cking Way!

I just read that the Bears have signed none other than Josh McClown since they aren’t sure of Cutty’s status for Sunday. Good thing we don’t have LeFevour or Enderle to kick around anymore. I can’t believe this.

At least we have Luther Campbell to lead us. God forbid he goes down, then we will have to send in the McClowns.